Get out of my fucking life.

Apologies now, because I have had a drink or two.
But I've stopped myself from going out because I have an important interview 2moro. Massively proud that I stopped myself!!

Anyway...
Today I had plans and got massively bailed on. Its like my whole year has gone full circle. The start of second year I got massively upset and fucked over and again he thinks he can treat me with the same shit.

No you fucking moron.
I hope I never hear from you again.
Whatever excuse you have, bite me, all I wanted was one last catch up before I potentially leave for over a year and never see you again.

Fuck you, best of luck with your life but never attempt to make plans again. Your done.

Such ashame because I considered you such a good friend before all of this.
Thank you, goodnight.
Bx

P.S I love all of my true, true friends from leeds I'm leaving behind next year. I'm in tears because of you guys, your the ones actually worth getting worked up about.
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St. G

I went to st. georges this evening for what seemed like the first time in aaaages, it'd been like months!

And I feel like I had so many of my questions answered :) I know most people think church is lame or think its ridiculous and say negative things about it... but honestly, I would encourage so many people to find faith, because it's amazing.

A lot of my worrying has seemed to get a lot better and I honestly feel like there's a path set out for me. I shouldn't worry so much about placements and losing friends. I don't even need a perfect guy that I keep searching for either, it'll happen when it's meant to and things will work out.

Cheese post today. Sorry, just feeling the faith lurrrve today!

Amen hahaa ;) I'm excited for a final blast of revision 2moro, then tuesdays the big day. My official last day of second year. Time has completely flown by, its ridiculous!

Bx
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Night night,

Oooh writing a blog post on the bb in bed. I feel like on "Run's house" on MTV when he always sums up the show on his phone (or something?!) how his days been and what's been going on. Paha, I'm not an 80's rapper in a whirlpool mansion bath tho.

Another successful and really productive day of revision completed, and another few interesting potential london placement job leads.

On the other hand, another bit of banter about how shit my course and therefore how shit my choice of career is and how "shit" my whole future life will be (I don't mind, but hello.. that's my life we're mocking daily now.) and also another day of not being able to go out or really spend time having fun and a laugh with people.

Not whinging, but I am a bit bored / frustated. Wah, enough.

Also, that other stupid stuff, Im still being ridiculous. This needs to stop, I am definitely being so so stupid.

Tommorows a new day and hopefully a clearer, fresher head,
Night, loveyouu
Bx
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"you do right by me, I'll show you a life most suckers can't even dream of."

i went to see water for elephants last night at the cinemaaaaa with chlo

so good to do something other than revision or sitting around the house pretending to revise!

it's such a lovely film, the story was beautiful

and a few years ago i would never dream of going to a film with robert pattinson in it, cos he's gross in twilight, and a bit shit in them

but remember me was really good, so i thought i'd give him a go in this

he was HOT. so, so lovely. yum.

the romance in it all is so lovely. i would quite like to swept off my feet and fall in love with a lovely gentleman please.

i've just re-read this and there is a gross overuse of the word lovely. ooooh well.

back to revision, yesss.

Bx

Emailed?!

Just worked out how to email a blog post to my blog from my blackberry..whaaaay, this should be amaaaazing. I'll probably be posting a lot more pointless shit from now haha but now it'll be like as it happens! Cutting edge bbe, I'm well modern!!



Currently lying in bed.

Revision plan and day's worth of notes waiting for me, yesssss.

I'm living the dream baby ;)



Probs gonna make myself a cheeky bit of breakfast first, sausages and beans need eating up...what can you do?! ...nobody cares, shutup.



Also the big distancing needs to start today. Its getting stupid now. I'm very sorry for how rude I may become.



Bx





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dancing on my own

not really loving much at the moment.

obviously i'm loving being back in leeds and seeing everyone, but i can't help feeling like these are the last few weeks ever with most of these people.

...as if i'll ever manage to stay as close to these amazing friends i've made, not even knowing myself where-abouts i'll be next year.

and most of my closest friends here, it feels like i've known for yeears. its so sad and i'm struggling a bit getting my head around it.

not gonna' lie, i'm majorly holding back the tears already. i'm so jealous of everyone coming back and doing third year together next year.

then obviously my course is majorly getting to me too. i absolutely love it, i love design and it's what I want to be doing, but the job prospects are awful and i'm shit compared to all the people i'm competing with to get these stupid placements.

the fact that i can't even interest people with offering companies to work for free, doesn't sound too great for my future career. fantastic.

2 rejections. heaps of ignored emails. tons of time wasted searching for internships. it's ridiculous.

hating it.

it's not even as if summer will be good. apart from this bb holiday, which i am SO excited for (it's about the only good thing going at the moment!) then everyone's gonna be off away from leicester. and with the prospect of not having a student loan next year, i probably won't have much money to much apart from sit at home with the rents.

gaaaah. i'm gonna go revise. fuck this.

Bx